The Death of the De Witts
While speaking to the Coast Guard Academy in Connecticut, President Donald Trump said “No politician in history – and I say this with great surety – has been treated worse or more unfairly.”
I think that’s a little unfair to say. There are at least a FEW political figures who had it worse. To the history books!
1. Johan de Witt was lynched and eaten.
That’s right, EATEN. Johan de Witt held the secondary office of the Netherlands, Grand Pensionary, from 1653 until 1672, when France, England, and the German states of Galen, Munster and Bavaria attacked simultaneously. Referred to in Dutch history as Rampjaar or “disaster year,” it certainly was bad news for de Witt. His brother Cornelius was captured and imprisoned. When Johan went to visit his brother, a crowd gathered to demand his imprisonment. Working themselves into a frenzy, the crowd descended upon Johan de Witt and his brother and butchered them both. The mob was reported to have gotten so crazy that they actually ATE pieces of both brothers. If no one’s been chewing on Trump’s arm, I’d say he’s doing alright.
2. Napoleon was exiled twice.
TWICE. Napoleon believed Russia was going to try to form an alliance with England, so he invaded Russia. It ended with his troops retreating from their invasion and Napoleon uniting most of Europe against himself. He was exiled to Elba, but escaped and reclaimed his title Emperor Napoleon. He was defeated again, and this time exiled to Saint Helena. Trump has it way easier. The worst that could happen is he’d be impeached, and that can only happen once, and really all he’d have to do is pull a Nixon and resign. And they wouldn’t make him live on an island, although today being banished to your own tropical island probably isn’t a punishment.
3. Czech Hussites once threw seven members of city council out the window.
The First Defenestration of Prague in 1419 (yes this happened often enough they labeled three, but then they started happening so often that they stopped labeling them) occurred when city council members refused to exchange Hussite prisoners. Priest Jan Zelivsky was leading his fellow Hussites to the town hall in protest when someone from inside the building threw a rock at them. The Hussites were so enraged they stormed town hall and threw the judge, burgomaster (master of citizens), and some of the town council out the window. This would never happen to Trump, the Oval Office is on the first floor.
4. Julius Caesar was stabbed 23 times by members of the Senate.
On March 15th, 44BC, Caesar was heading to a session with the Senate when he was brutally stabbed to death by his own Senators. Marcus Junius Brutus, Servilius Casca, Gaius Cassius Longinus, and Decimus Junius Brutus led the attack. Trump has it way better, the Senate is Republican led!
5. Draco, the first legislator of Athens on record, was smothered to death by a pile of clothes.
Draco was a lawmaker who established a legal code around 622 BC that represented Athens’ constitution. His laws were rather harsh. So harsh in fact, that we have the term ‘Draconian’ nowadays to refer to overly punitive and unforgiving laws. Nevertheless, stories about Draco have it that his life ended when Greeks, in a customary show of approval, threw so many hats, cloaks and shirts, that he was suffocated. He was literally smothered by praise, something that is unlikely to happen to Donald Trump. He may, however, end up smothered to death by his own ego.
