Everyone wants to know what makes a person a success. Read on to learn the 7 shocking habits of successful people.
1. Many successful people wear pants. If I could offer you one piece of advice, it’s to wear pants. Nice pants are best.
2. Nearly all successful people are toilet trained. If they need to go, you can bet they will be in a bathroom.
3. I have it on good authority that a number of successful people enjoy cheese. If I could give you a second piece of advice, it would be to learn more about cheese. Then you have something to talk to other successful people about when you’re in the bathroom, being successful!
4. Successful people are good at being better than you. You can cultivate this effect by lifting your nose slightly towards the heavens, and wearing expensive shoes.
5. All successful people have a clear personal brand. May I suggest your left ass cheek.
6. An important part of being a successful person, is to share your knowledge of how to be a success. This makes you appear successful and generous. (I am very generous and also successful. I am wearing nice pants and expensive shoes as I type this.)
7. You can attain a higher level of success by adding more drugs. Any of them are fine, but the one most likely to show up on a urine test at work is marijuana. Stick to the good stuff.